I’ve burrowed my way in and made a space where I can sit to sew. I’ve gone through the sewing stuff and tried to sort it out into specific boxes so, at this point in time I have:

Two 100L tubs – one for fabric, one for patterns.
Two 53L tubs – both containing trim, zips, buttons, ribbons, threads etc.
One 20L tub – contains threads and bobbins.
Two big boxes about the same size as the 100L tubs containing fabric.
Five nappy boxes of fabric.

Then there is the basket full of half finished items and clothes that need to be mended. Not to mention what I think I’ll call the 10 year quilt – some of the squares were cut out by Mum. The pins had gone rusty in some spots so I chucked them.

I bought the 100L tubs last week in an effort to consolidate the other nappy boxes I had full of fabric, but I think I might need another four to really get it all down into a neat set of boxes.

Obviously I’ve been doing a bit of sewing and will upload those photos soon.

I have been resting a lot, where I can. Bed at 8:30pm, although I’ve still got the laptop. One of the students at work is a reflexologist and she has given me a little map of my feet and where to rub. I think an all over foot rub from A would suffice.

I don’t smoke, so I can’t give that up. I rarely drink, but I’m willing to start if that would help. I could eat healthier, I could exercise more.

I could eat more garlic. I could try deep breathing. I could eat prunes, melons and bananas. Perhaps not with garlic though.

Today you are two years old. It’s such a cliche, but the past year has gone so quickly. You really have turned into a little boy now. Everything your sister does, you want to do to – which means that I am always telling her to be a good role model for you!

Your approach to life is like a bull in a china shop. Why walk when you can run, crash into things and fall over? One of your favourite things to do is play in the sand/mud pit. This activity entertains you for, well, minutes! Your attention span is not that great! Other things you like doing are chasing the cats and meowing at them, trying to ride the dogs, scribbling on paper and watching Diego.

In the past couple of weeks, you’ve had a much anticipated language explosion. Part of this was imitating your father say ‘Fuck!’ and ‘Oh my god!’ Oh dear! You have been saying other words though – often you’ll demand ‘yaygo’ (Diego) and ‘yogo’ (yogurt). You tend to get the former when I want to get things done without you under my feet, and the latter when you are about to have a bath anyway.

When you are around other people you are still quite shy. You have a lovely relationship with your carer and her husband. They speak Mandarin in their home and they say that you understand it. Clever boy!

Your father often comments on your hair, which is exactly the same colour as mine. Be proud of it, my son! When we are out, I’ll often get comments along the lines of “There is no mistaking that he’s yours!” I often look at red-headed men and wonder what you’ll look like as an adult.

Love, your mummy

Dexie is a stubborn little thing, he’s just a ball of muscle with a toddler tummy now. He’s less than two weeks away from being two years old and I am in some form of denial. He is still my baby! As he squirms away from my kisses and pretends his sister’s fairy wand is a spade, there is no doubt that he is a little boy.

Dexie is at Family Day Care. His regular FDCarers speak Mandarin and he is reported to understand it. His expressive language is coming along in leaps and bounds. I was a bit worried there, but now he has quite a few words he can say. His receptive language has always been quite good. At the moment I am concerned, in only the way a mother can be, about his gross motor skills. Like his sister, he falls over his feet. He can literally be standing still and all of a sudden he is on the floor.

Willow

Willow is becoming more eloquent and articulate. This past school term has seen her undergo speech therapy with a private speech pathologist at her school. While she has a minor lisp, she has some problems with word finding abilities. As an example, she couldn’t think of the word hose, so she called it a water-rope. She couldn’t think of the word Christmas, so she told me it was the time it snowed and people gave her presents. Anyway, she is utterly charming and learning so much at school.

At the moment she is attending Vacation Care at her school, but next week we all have a week off together. I am really looking forward to some time off.

Willow is a fantastic big sister, she is almost always kind and considerate of her little brother. Unfortunately I can’t say the same for him. I imagine that when he learns to use his words a bit more, there will be less hitting from him. He is good at taking two biscuits from the jar and giving one to Willow.

A

A has finally given up smoking. I am very proud of him. I can’t imagine (never having smoked) how difficult it has been for him. I know how difficult it has been for me though – only kidding!

Study

I am in the home stretch of Semester 2 Year 2 of my BSW. I am possibly going to get credit for my first placement, which will essentially save me a whole year of study. I have also started negotiations to do a paid placement in a different area at work.

I am also in the middle of my Certificate IV of Mental Health. I started in April, this is study that I’m undertaking through work, it is compulsory and quite frankly, it’s a step up the pay scale. I have done the last of four 2 days sessions, then I have some written work and 3 more 2 day modules. It seems that every time I do a two day session, more work is added. Today I found out that as well as the Alcohol & Other Drugs and Culturally and Linguistically Diverse modules, now we have to do a module called Promoting Co-operation or something like that. Apparently we might just keep doing these modules and end up with a Diploma of Mental Health. I think the training organisation are just making it up as they go along.

Work also offer Certificate IV in Workplace Training and Assessment. This is an essential criteria to lecture at TAFE, and for many interesting jobs. I figure that if it is offered at the same rate as the Certificate IV in Mental Health, I might as well keep going once I finish that.

Side note: One of the women at the training session looked familiar yesterday. She had interviewed me for a respite position about a year ago. I didn’t end up taking the job as it wasn’t really right for me. She told me that she was glad to see that I’d found a job that was the right fit for me and my skills would have been wasted in the position she offered me. That was a nice ego boost. Funnily enough, about 10 years ago, when I was working at the institution, her father was my boss. It is a small world.

Work

Work is great. Of course, there are minor issues, like the fact that we were meant to be in our new office in June. It’s October tomorrow and we are still not there. Apparently we are moving on Friday but I’ll believe it when I see it. Apart from that, it is probably one of the best organisations I’ve worked for, on so many different levels. I can certainly see the potential to move upwards or diagonally here. I’m not really into goal setting, but I’d like to be in a more senior role in 5 years time.

Failing that, I’d like to work for Families SA for some time. I would put a time limit on it, 2 years max. I know I couldn’t do it without burning out, but the experience would be priceless.

Home

What can I say? Very glad to have a regular cleaner now. A youngish couple come to do the floors, bathrooms and anything else they have time for every fortnight. Part of the benefit is that I spend the night before tidying up! Such an irony.

I have started making a quilt, but lost interest. I have also started making some reusable lunch bags with left over nappy making material. Not sure if I’m pleased with the beta version, but I’ll see how the next one turns out. A friend had a little girl recently and I made her 3 pairs of simple pants. Looking forward to seeing photos of her in them!

The menagerie are all still with us. Russ and Bear are 12 this year, Rani is 9 and Harley is 3. I worry every morning that I will go out and find a lifeless body. I guess it is inevitable, no-one lives for ever. When it does happen I will be a mess.

On that cheery note, I will finish. Tomorrow is my day off, as it is uni holidays I will be at uni finishing a case study. Yay.

Meanwhile I had to get two children dressed and ready by myself. Call me a princess, but it’s been awhile since I’ve done that. Dexie seems to have this radar where he knows exactly where the best spot is to be under my feet. Soon enough we were all ready to go and everything was packed in the car.

The party was great. Two of A’s brothers are bakers, so it was well catered with lots of yummy food. It was lovely to see Willow and Dexie playing with their cousins. I met members of the family I hadn’t in five years! I even took the opportunity to thank A’s mum for giving me such a wonderful son. A’s grandmother, in her 97th year was there which was fantastic, she is still living independently and very sprightly. I am very proud to be part of such a wonderful family.

I had a bit of a teary on leaving but neatly repressed all the sadness, as I always do.

Then came the stressful part of the day. My Aunt and Uncle had brought my Nanna and Poppa up to the city as Poppa has to have an operation on his prostate. He has also, finally been given the diagnosis of dementia. I think he’s had signs for about 10 years, so about time, I say.

The hospital he is having the operation done in is over the other side of town, which is rather annoying in terms of me being able to provide support – why couldn’t it have been the hospital 15 minutes drive away? Nanna is staying in accomodation across the road and they will stay here after he is released from hospital. I had a chance to chat with my Auntie and Uncle (they are 6months and 5 years older than me, respectively) and got the inside scoop on what has been happening. Shows how bad health services are in the country, that’s about all I can say. Also, I gather that my mother’s death had a more profound impact on him than most people realised – he found her.

My grandparents are very much country people – being in the city is almost as stressful for Poppa as the operation itself. Nanna is incredibly stressed – she’s not used to being the squeaky wheel but she needs to be. She was worried about keeping visiting hours, but I told her that she is not so much a visitor as she is next of kin. She laughed and said that it was a bit morbid. On reflection, Poppa being in hospital might be a bit of a break for her… He can’t be the easiest person to care for.

I am looking forward to having them here, more for the sake of the children than mine. It will be good for them to spend some time with Nanna and Poppa – they don’t have much in the way of family nearby. Whenever I think about my Poppa, my mental picture is a strong, tall red-headed man who epitomised Australianess in the Slim Dusty kinda way. So to see him tonight on the hospital bed with a catheter and necessary bag is sad. It made me so happy to see him smile and laugh with Dexie and Willow – Dexie has his red hair and bright blue eyes. It was a tender moment when we left, Willow went to give him a kiss goodbye and I remember him giving me snuffly, whiskery kisses as a child.

A’s brother dropped him off at the hospital – he had stayed behind to clean up and lock up. After walking Nanna over to her accommodation, we drove home, stopping at Maccas for some stuff they called food.

A gave me a lovely present when we got home:

Child’s Touch

It is very sweet and much appreciated. We already have this one, so the family is complete:

Father and Daughter

Earlier this week, A and I celebrated our 5th anniversary. I’m quite proud of that. Since we are not officially married, we celebrate the date that we met. We got together quite quickly, which makes the success that much sweeter. It’s not the longest monogamous relationship I’ve been in, but it is certainly the best, the most rewarding, the most enjoyable and the most productive.

What bonds us:

☺ We come from the same cultural background and share similar values.
☺ We are the same age (birthdays are 21 days apart).
☺ We have a similar sense of humour plus a dark and cynical world view.
☺ We have similar opinions on raising children which is very important to me.
☺ We both have a sweet tooth, but that just means we fight over who ate the last piece of chocolate!
☺ He is a genuinely caring and kind person who has a similar set of morals to me.
☺ We share similar tastes in culture, pop and otherwise. He thinks the music I listen to is too depressing but I tell him that Fall Out Boy and Linkin Park hardly sing about puppies and rainbows.

I am so grateful to have him in my life. Not only is he a fantastic father, but he is a thoughtful and considerate life partner too.

This can be annoying if the children are asleep, because I am afraid they will wake them up. They aren’t large dogs, but the thudding and clattering of their paw is loud enough to make me cross.

The other day I had an epiphany. My boys are turning 12 this year – that’s what, 84 in human years. I am lucky to have them around still!

The plan was to pick the children up, then pick A up and do some shopping, so I bought a Charlesworth Nuts disc with chocolate and nuts. I also bought a little gift card with jelly beans on the front for a short note. I dropped the wine, card, chocolates and a $50 note off to him tonight. Willow came with me to deliver them and she said thank you again.

I kind of got the feeling he wanted to chat, but I was exhausted, had A and D in the car plus all the shopping. I said a quick thankyou and left. As we walked away, I heard him exclaim “Nice!” I hope that was when he saw the wine!